Today I turn 35.

here are my thoughts on life. they are not new thoughts. plenty of other people have thought them, said them, wrote them. this is how i see things as of 4/25/25.

1. life is short. don’t take it for granted.
2. life is long. don’t fret about timelines or deadlines. you have time.
3. it’s okay to have a bad day – important even. feel what you feel and feel it. then get up the next day and hopefully you feel better. if you don’t, try again. if you still don’t, see point 8.
4. the real soulmates you find are friends. beautiful, kind, dedicated, selfless friends. find them and hold as tight as you can.
5. your mom is right. listen to her. (she’s also sometimes wrong, so do it with a grain of salt) love and treasure her for the fact that she is doing her best for you.
6. you cannot change someone’s behavior – accept them for who they are. if you can’t, edit them from your life. 99% of the time their behavior is not about you. release yourself from the pressure of needing to be who they want you to be.
7. you are allowed to be impacted by the behavior of others, but don’t let your trauma become an excuse. you are so much bigger than the bad things that have happened to you. you deserve a full life in spite of those who have tried to make you feel otherwise.
8. GO TO THERAPY. i mean it. it doesn’t matter if you don’t “need” it – it is invaluable to have a place to process all the ups and downs of life with a professional. in that vein, medication makes your life better – don’t be afraid of it if you need it.
9. money does not buy happiness. it can buy convenience which sometimes brings happiness. don’t confuse the two.
10. get the tattoo. there are worse things in life to regret on your deathbed – the baguette tattoo you got with your best friend will not be one of them. it will, in fact, be one of your most prized possessions.
11. INVEST YOUR MONEY now. stop spending it. save it. start an ira and put in as much as you can – even if that is $5 a month! this is one of my biggest disappointments in my younger self…
12. aging is getting scary – not the grey hair or wrinkles, but the speeding of time. i become more and more aware my parents won’t be here forever. it’s debilitating sometimes. stay present in the time you have with the people you love. you cannot control the future. you can control telling everyone you love that you love them. tell them all the time. extend your trip home an extra day with no plans. sit on the couch with your dad in silence while you watch golf even though it’s so boring. drink wine with your mom until all you can do is giggle while your dad rolls his eyes.
13. call your siblings. listen to them talk about the things they love even if you don’t care about it even a little bit. ideally you won’t ever have to live without them, but that’s not always the case.
14. be patient. it’s the hardest thing, but the most rewarding. be patient with the tourists that are walking 4 abreast on the sidewalk. be patient with the man who feels the need to take up two subway seats. be patient with your parents who don’t move as fast as you do.
15. be patient with yourself in the pursuit of patience. your brother will still annoy you, you’ll still be frustrated when your dad can’t figure out how to use his phone, you may still even yell at the guy on the subway to get up. be patient. try again in the next minute. just keep trying. it’s never too late to change your behavior.
16. you are allowed to make mistakes. own them. don’t shy away from taking accountability. give yourself space to err and make amends. humble yourself when appropriate – it does not make you weak.
17. smile. smile when you feel happy. smile when you feel angry. smile when you feel sad. smile when you see someone on the street. smile when the ups guy is rude and not helpful. smile smile smile. i mean it. it’s not about how you look, it’s about how you feel. the more you smile, the better you feel.
18. do not dampen yourself. you are not too much – you are wonderfully much. do not lessen yourself for others. embrace being extra. let them find less.